Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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