I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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