I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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