Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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