why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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