I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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