whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize