part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
