I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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