GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.