Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again

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(508): Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again http://tfl.nu/g8s7

Replies (39) Good night (2871) Bad night (600)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.

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(970): I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides. http://tfl.nu/4pjs

Replies (26) Good night (4398) Bad night (696)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.

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(815): Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything. http://tfl.nu/a0v1

Replies (33) Good night (695) Bad night (3005)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"

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(860): she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner" http://tfl.nu/hbdd

Replies (38) Good night (5819) Bad night (580)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE

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(401): Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE http://tfl.nu/8fti

Replies (4) Good night (3460) Bad night (837)
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(303): View more from Colorado

You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.

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(303): You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool. http://tfl.nu/uc3l

Replies (12) Good night (1948) Bad night (1469)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...

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(715): I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life... http://tfl.nu/7li7

Replies (6) Good night (1370) Bad night (1166)
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(360): View more from Washington

Edward fifth and chaser hands

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(360): Edward fifth and chaser hands http://tfl.nu/2o2p

Replies (3) Good night (1534) Bad night (971)
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(641): View more from Iowa

I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

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(641): I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. http://tfl.nu/90tm

Replies (18) Good night (1105) Bad night (1271)
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(815): View more from Illinois

My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.

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(815): My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time. http://tfl.nu/dmh2

Replies (9) Good night (2581) Bad night (489)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.

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(508): I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember. http://tfl.nu/6qay

Replies (22) Good night (1456) Bad night (805)
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(310): View more from California

Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub

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(310): Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub http://tfl.nu/ka0h

Replies (12) Good night (493) Bad night (2000)
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(847): View more from Illinois

He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.

(312): View more from Illinois

So... He's a barber?

(847): View more from Illinois

No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?

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(847): He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part. (312): So... He's a barber? (847): No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it? http://tfl.nu/hrcs

Replies (1) Good night (1353) Bad night (623)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties

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(203): i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies (1-203): you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties http://tfl.nu/44vj

Replies (5) Good night (1383) Bad night (352)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...

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(781): I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded... http://tfl.nu/sk2i

Replies (3) Good night (195) Bad night (645)

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