Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people