if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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