Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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