Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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