So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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