called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
