When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
