did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize