i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
