Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize