I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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