she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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