And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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