I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
