u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
