This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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