hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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