i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
