There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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