i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
