Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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