I'm going to rape someone's good day.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
