Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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