Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
