apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Never joke about your clitoris.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
