I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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