Christians are straight up FREAKS
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
