all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
