Where are you?
In a non slutty way
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
