we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
