Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
