my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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