Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
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we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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