youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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