mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
