whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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