what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
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Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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