Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize