operation harelip BJ is a go
I am midnight drunk by noon
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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