so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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