As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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