if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
