It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
