he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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