You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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