Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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