Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize