she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
